Why Do You Want To Get Married?

Are you wanting to get married because you want a big wedding and be the center of everyone’s attention? Are you wanting to get married because all of your friends around you are getting married? Or are you wanting to get married because you just don’t want to be by yourself, so you want to marry some person you know isn’t right, but you don’t want to chance being alone??

I have to ask this question because some of our reasons for getting married are not truly preparing us for what marriage really is. First you need to know what marriage means. In the beginning in Genesis chapter 2, God created Adam. God saw that it was not good that man be alone so He set to make a helper for Adam. God made every beast and bird and brought them to Adam. Adam named each animal, but he did not find a helper that was fit for him. God put him to sleep and created woman, taking a rib from Adam. God brought the woman to Adam. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

Okay, so here is the foundation of marriage. God created man and gave him a job (work the ground/garden). But God didn’t like him alone and man needed help. Thus, the woman was formed. Our original purpose is to help the man. It is so easy for us to walk around talking about how we don’t need a man, but the man needs US.

Ephesians 5:22 tells us that wives are to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord, meaning you submit to God by submitting to your husband. Verse 23 tells us that “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church” and this is why we submit to our husbands. Now, this doesn’t mean that you bow at his every word. It means that you follow him while HE LEADS. If he says don’t do something, then don’t do it. Not because he is your bossy boss, but because it is meant to PROTECT you! Think of it this way, it’s storming outside and you’re poking holes in the umbrella! When you submit, you stay within the covering of the umbrella because it protects you from getting wet and messing up your hair! The umbrella takes the hits and the damage so you don’t have to. That’s why God said what he said (through Paul) in verses 25 and 26, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” A wonderful act of love.

Remember Genesis 2:24 says that a man shall hold fast to his wife and they become ONE flesh. In 1 Corinthians 7:39, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.” You know how everyone like tossing that word divorce around like it’s a salad you eat everyday? Well, the actual purpose of divorce was for when a man married a woman and found that after consummating the marriage, she was not pure (a virgin) and he could then divorce her because she had committed fornication (not adultery).  Everything else, you are supposed to work through that honey! And you knew it wasn’t going to be easy when you said, “for better or for worse.” Let’s talk about the marriage vows, shall we?

During marriages, we say these vows:

“I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part”

According to Webster’s Dictionary, a vow is promising something important. So, marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly as if promising to do the laundry or share half of your piece of cake. It is a promise to something IMPORTANT. It is a big deal, not a show to entertain others. In the marriage vows, you promise to have and hold this person from that day forward. It doesn’t say until you get tired or aggravated or until 2, 5, or 10 years. It doesn’t even say until!! From this day forward.

For better or for worse…That’s your good moments, your happy moments, your relaxed moments, your exciting moments AND your annoyed moments, your angry moments, hurt moments, your sad moments. The good and the bad! That means you work through the good, and you work through the bad. You know how some people are quick to give thanks to God when everything in their life is going so well, but as soon as bad times come, they forget to give thanks. We may be down and needs God help and strength even more, but we can’t forget to continue to give thanks for what we do have! Hebrews 13:5-6 says, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”” We should praise Him all through the storm, too. In marriage, we have to work out even through the storms. And there will be storms!

For richer, for poorer…the previous verses can also apply. The love of money messes up marriages. 1 Timothy 6:10 says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” In marriage, let’s go back to Hebrews 13:5-5, be content with what you have and The Lord is my helper!

In sickness and in health…It’s easy to deal with some people when they are in good health, but what about when they are sick? How are you going to handle them while they are not well? It could be physically ill or mentally ill. Are you going to continue to lead them toward God or leave them because you feel it’s too much to handle or you just don’t want to deal? As women, we have to be the nurturer that our husbands need. And let’s face it, as women we can come down with the flu and a stomach virus all at the same time and STILL work, clean the house, grocery shop, and cook for the family while men can get the sniffles and they’re in bed for a week! LOL Now, I’m joking of course, but in marriage, we have to be ready take on the sickness along with the health. We have to help KEEP each other in good health.

To love and to cherish…The definition of love is well explained in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. In verse 8, it says that love never ends. All of these other things come to an end, but not love. I talked about what love is in “Not Just A Lady, But God’s Lady Pt. 3”. Basically, love is all of these things: it is patient, it is kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude, it does not insist in its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, it rejoices with the truth, love bears all things, it believes all things, hopes all things, it endures all things, it never ends. It ENDURES! The storm, the sunshine, the rain, the wind…ALL! Cherish means to hold or treat tenderly or to keep in mind. In marriage, we are supposed to do these things from that day forward. And this is where we reach the “until”…

Until death do us part…Is just what it says, until DEATH do us part. I have heard SEVERAL people say that “till death do us part” means the death of the relationship. Your feelings may change (which they shouldn’t have in the first place which goes right back to why are you wanting to get married in the first place), but marriage is forever. Until one of you die. 1 Corinthians 7:39 says, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” In marriage, the man and woman become one flesh. One. This brings to mind how after the marriage ceremony (that many people get married for), then comes the consummation (or completion) by way of sex (which is why it is meant for marriage, not for single people, so how many people are you married to???). The two become ONE. You are bound or tied together. Man and wife. Leader and helper. Reaching a single goal as ONE.

So why are you wanting to get married? Is it because of the thrill of the wedding ceremonies? Is to show off in front of others? Is it to look a certain way? Is it to prove something? Is it to keep from being lonely?

Can I talk about being lonely before I end this post? If God will never leave or forsake you, why are you lonely??? Before my husband showed up at my front door specially delivered by God Himself, I spent time alone…with God! I would read and study the Word, talk with Him, pray and just thank Him! I was okay with whatever His will was because who are we to say our own will is better than God’s?? He knows best, so all we have to do is trust Him. If you’re waiting on God to bring you that special person into your life, don’t you think you need to build you relationship with Him first?

Remember, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrew 13:4

Marriage is honorable, treat it as such!

Amy M.

Who's Watching You?

What do people see when they look at you? What are you doing when they’re watching you? What are you saying when they’re hearing you???

One reason why we should be mindful of the things we do or say is because others are watching. Not only should our lives be pleasing to and glorifying God, but we should also be examples of Christ to others. How do you think God feels when you’re talking about professing His name and then turn around and start cussing people out on facebook, in the grocery store or in traffic? When you profess His name and say He is your Savior, everything that comes after should line up. We’re not always going to get things right, but that’s when you need to work to get it right. Knowing you’re not always going to get things right is not an excuse to always do things wrong.

It is just amazing what affect your actions have on others when you do finally get things right. Let me give you an example. I had always had road rage real bad since before I was even driving (lol). By the time I was in college, I was so bad at it I would follow people that cut me off just to scare them. Every turn they made, I made too and was right on their tail! I even did this to cops! Pulling out in front of me was obviously a pet peeve of mine! But I was terrible, too. I would yell and scream at people, give them dirty looks, or cut around them and blowing my horn angrily and slam on breaks when I got back in front of them. It was awful. I had a friend with me one night and this person just pulled out in front of me without looking and I STAYED on their tail! My friend began to get scared and she kept telling me to stop, but my anger was fueled and I was determined to teach this person to be a better driver…but wait, aren’t I acting worst than they are??????? Hmmmmm….

I was so angry and had a point to prove and it wasn’t doing anything but making me worst than the people I was upset with and scaring the people around me. It wasn’t cute nor funny. I had to ask God to help me with my anger. One day, I finally got sick of the music I was listening to. It wasn’t me. Never was. I turned the radio off right then and there. After a few weeks, I noticed my road rage was like…GONE! I became more understanding with the other drivers on the road and although they do crazy things that I can’t figure out why, I continue to thank God for keeping me safe and allowing me to respond quickly to get out of the way or avoid being hit. And that’s the thing…it’s all about giving God ALL the glory! Someone cuts you off and you avoid hitting them, “Lord, I thank you for keeping me safe when that car just pulled out! Lord, keep them safe as they continue down the highways!” Ephesians 5:1-21 talks about being imitators of Christ and describes how to do that! The Word tells us how!!

Another friend rode with me recently and I was not even thinking about my driving. I just wanted to make sure we got where we needed to go safely with the help of the Lord!  But she admired my calm driving even when someone had cut us off. And the thing is, I don’t even remember someone cutting us off! I didn’t even realize she was even paying attention to my reactions! (People are watching when you don’t even know it, that’s why you have to make sure you’re in line with the Word even when you’re not thinking about it! It should be your everyday life!) But that moment helped to exemplify God’s love and how it should be in us. Others should be able to look at the body of Christ and feel that they can improve too and see that living the fruits of the Spirit is awesome! It really is! I say all of this just to say, be mindful of what you let in your spirit (music, tv, movies) because it will come out and instead of being angry and upset, thank God for getting you through, that you survived! Be mindful of these things because others are watching you and sometimes just your actions, reactions and just how you live your life is enough to win some hearts over to Christ! So if you believe in Christ and that He is your Savior and you are professing that, then your everyday life needs to show it. Your life needs to produce those fruits. (Galatians 5:22-23)

I am careful about what plays in my car, how I dress, what I say, and how I say things because I don’t want people to be confused because our God is not a god of confusion. When people see and hear me, I don’t want them wondering “is she saved???” They should be able to tell a child of God without that person having to tell them “I’m a child of God!” Your fruits will do all of the talking. That’s why you can say all you want, but your actions are saying something totally different. And people are going to look at your actions and compare them to what comes out of your mouth. If they don’t match up, you’ve just made a liar out of yourself and you’re putting God’s name on it???

“In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 5:16 It’s all about giving ALL the glory to God!!!

Amy M.