The Misconception of Love
Love is one of those things that I hear people throw around
so casually and incorrectly. It is used to make excuses for wrong-doings, it’s
used to try to make people feel guilty, and it’s used to describe an emotion
that’s not truly love. With that being said, the way people use love is
actually not love at all. They use it to manipulate. That’s not love. They use
it to justify their sins. That’s not love. They use it to describe their lust.
That’s not love.
When someone does something wrong and are sinning and you
try to tell and explain to them how it’s wrong and the consequences of those
actions, but they get angry and say you are supposed to LOVE everyone and not
JUDGE, one-that’s not judging and two-love isn’t letting you continue sinning
while I smile and watch or tell you everything is going to be okay. If you see
you child steal something, you’re not going to sit and smile and tell them
everything is okay and accept that they are thieves because you love them!
NO!!! You’re going to stop them, get on to them, tell them it’s wrong and why
it’s wrong, and you’re going to punish them! Why? Because you love them! You
don’t want to see them going down a bad path. You don’t want to see them heading
towards destruction or eventually eternal doom. So because you LOVE them, you
will raise your voice and punish them, but you will also talk to them and teach
them.
So many people want you to be NICE to them while they sin
and call that love. It is not. Being nice and love are two very different
things. You loving someone doesn’t mean you accept their sins or go along with
their sins. Jesus said in John 14:15 “If you love me, you will keep my
commandments.” So, if you do not follow the commandments, you are sinning.
Therefore, not showing love to God. And God IS love, so if you want others to
LOVE you, shouldn’t GOD be the root of it, and if He’s the root of it, doesn’t
that mean you need to STOP SINNING? With that being said, you can’t be in the
middle of your sin and trying to tell others that’s trying to correct and help
you that THEY need to love! You’re not even showing love to the One that IS
love!!! “…God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides
in him.” (1 John 4:16)
There are also many people that like to use love manipulate
others to get what they want. They try to make you feel guilty and use love to
mean that you owe them something. For example, if you love me, you will do this
for me or do that for me. And it’s usually something that goes against God’s
word and His will. In situations like this, you really have to understand what
love is and this is not it! My response to people like this would be, “And if
you truly loved me, you wouldn’t be trying to talk me into going against God’s
will.”
And those of us that believe we love someone, but it’s only
lust. We’ve all been there! You just like to person for how they look and how
they make you feel physically, but love goes beyond that. If you can drop
someone instantly because they are not fulfilling something physical that you
want or something materialistic that you want, you never loved them. It’s time
we get to a point where we actually call things what they really are. Actual
love should be called love. Lust should be called love. STOP calling lust love.
They are certainly not the same!
So What Is Love?
As I’ve mentioned before, God is love. If it’s truly love,
then it is of God. The bible spells out what love is. It is patient, it is
kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not arrogant, it is not rude,
it does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable, it is not resentful, it
does NOT rejoice in wrongdoing, but it rejoices with the TRUTH, love bears ALL
things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things,
love NEVER ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)
People seem to get the kindness confused with truth.
Speaking the truth is not being unkind. Especially when the purpose of speaking
the truth is to help you. If you are in
wrongdoing and get angry when you hear the truth about your wrongdoing, you may
want to step back and think about why exactly are you getting angry instead of
realizing you need to fix that problem…
People speaking the truth to bring conviction to others
(which is to help you get on the right track, if you are convicted then you
feel bad about your wrongdoing and realize God is watching your every move…) is
not hate or judgment. It’s simply bringing to your attention what you’re doing
wrong and what the actual judgment will be if you don’t stop and repent. A lot
of times, it’s easy for people to tell you the truth and shame it brings
because they’ve been there, too! They know that it brings nothing but shame and
eternal misery. It would actually be the OPPOSITE of love if they knew all of
this and DID NOT warn you!!!
And yes, you can tell the truth without being rude or
condescending. People should see and feel the love, too. You can’t just tell
people the truth about everything and think you are loving when you are rude
and hateful with it. Remember, love is not arrogant. When you share truth with
others, it should come from a loving place and brings those in wrongdoing to
conviction, not condemnation. Love hopes all things. It should bring hope, not
take away anyone’s hope. And you can love people and still let them know you
are not accepting, condoning, or tolerating sin of any kind. Love does not
rejoice in wrongdoing, so no we are NOT going to celebrate your sin.
Love is also part of the fruit of the Spirit. (Notice it’s
fruit, not fruits.) The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22)
So all 9 things together make up THE FRUIT of the Spirit. Without love, it’s
impossible to live by the Spirit! Notice that another part of the fruit is
patience and kindness. We already know that love is patient and kind. So
without love, you can’t function in those two!
Also, remember, love is choice. You choose to love. Love is
unconditional and endures all. When people say they fell out of love with
someone, they never loved the person. They lusted after the other person or
liked what the other person could do for them. But that isn’t love. I titled
this post “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” because love has everything to do
with everything. God is love and God is our everything. We cannot abide in his
Spirit without love. Obviously, I got the title from the Tina Turner song, but
she was singing about love not meaning anything. This is why I am explaining
all of this. In her next line she says that love is just a second-hand emotion.
Well, I beg to differ. Love is not an emotion. It is a choice and it is
something you DO. Tina based that song on the struggles she went through, but
that struggle was not love at all. This is why we can’t confuse love with words
people say. Watch their actions. What are they doing? Do their actions SHOW
love? Do they show patience and kindness? Do they show generosity and modesty? Are
they humble and polite? Do they do what’s right and not all about what they
want? Are they good-tempered and
forgiving?
Someone treating you badly is NOT LOVE. Someone manipulating
you is NOT LOVE (Remember what happened to Samson??? Judges 16). Defending sin
is NOT LOVE!!!
Webster’s Dictionary refers to love first as a noun, but
according to the Word of God, it is a verb first! It’s what you do! (1 John
3:18)
God defines love as:
-part of the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22)
-patient
-kind
-not envious
-not boasting
-not arrogant
-not rude
-not insisting on its own way
-not irritable
-not resentful
-NOT rejoicing in wrongdoing
-rejoicing with truth
-bearing all things
-believing all things
-hoping all things
-enduring all things
-never ending
(1 Corinthians 13:4-8
How many of you do all of these to those you say that you
love??? Hhmmmm…
Something to think about…
Let me also ask you these questions:
Do you exemplify this love to your enemies? (Matthew
5:43-48)
Are you willing to give up a child? (John 3:16)
Are you following the law? (Romans 13:10)
Do you say you love God, but your actions show you hate your
brother? (1 John 4:20,
Would you lay down your life for a friend? (John 15:13)
Are you a friend to Jesus? (John 15:14)
Are you following the law? (John 15:14)
Do you love Jesus? (John 14:15)
Are you following the law? (John 14:15)
Do you owe others nothing but love? (Romans 13:8)
Are you following the law? (Romans 13:8)
Are you in fear? (1 John 4:18)
1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. We know because of its
repetition that love is fulfilling the law. God is the fulfillment of the law.
How?
Matthew 5:17- Jesus came to fulfill the law.
God is love. Love is fulfilling the law. Jesus came to fulfill
the law. Jesus is God with us.
We can’t have God without love. We can’t have love without
the law. We can’t have the fulfillment of the law without Jesus. We can’t have
Jesus without God.
Love is God. Love is Jesus. Love is the law.
That, my friends, is what’s love got to do with it! (Notice
it doesn’t have anything to do with accepting other peoples’ sins or trying to
make them feel less ashamed for their sin! That isn’t love!)
About The Author
Amy McCutcheon is a loving wife to Angelo McCutcheon and mom
to two boys, AJ and Amauri McCutcheon. She is the creator of A Supermom’s
Journey, a blog about motherhood and all that it entails. You can read more
about the journey at www.supermomsjourney.com. Amy is also an educator and teaches middle
school ELA and reading. She also teaches English online to ESL students in
China. Amy is also the creator of the YouTube channel A Supermoms Journey and
runs a tutoring service called AR Learning where she tutors students ages 4-18 in
all core subjects and helps adults with obtaining their GED, college entrance
essays, resume writing, and document proofreading. You can book an appointment
at www.arlearning.wix.com/home.
Amy is in ministry with her husband. They run EBT Ministries which is an
outreach ministry to help believers truly understand Yah’s (God) word and the
truth about being a child of Yah. You can learn more about the ministry at www.ebtminitries.org. Amy is the creator
of the blog GMEL (God, Marriage, Education, Life) where she writes about what
Yah’s word says about life for a woman. To continue to read, go to www.gmel2000.blogspot.com.
Want to contact Amy?
Email: mrsm3108@gmail.com
