What's Love Got To Do With It?

The Misconception of Love

Love is one of those things that I hear people throw around so casually and incorrectly. It is used to make excuses for wrong-doings, it’s used to try to make people feel guilty, and it’s used to describe an emotion that’s not truly love. With that being said, the way people use love is actually not love at all. They use it to manipulate. That’s not love. They use it to justify their sins. That’s not love. They use it to describe their lust. That’s not love.

When someone does something wrong and are sinning and you try to tell and explain to them how it’s wrong and the consequences of those actions, but they get angry and say you are supposed to LOVE everyone and not JUDGE, one-that’s not judging and two-love isn’t letting you continue sinning while I smile and watch or tell you everything is going to be okay. If you see you child steal something, you’re not going to sit and smile and tell them everything is okay and accept that they are thieves because you love them! NO!!! You’re going to stop them, get on to them, tell them it’s wrong and why it’s wrong, and you’re going to punish them! Why? Because you love them! You don’t want to see them going down a bad path. You don’t want to see them heading towards destruction or eventually eternal doom. So because you LOVE them, you will raise your voice and punish them, but you will also talk to them and teach them.

So many people want you to be NICE to them while they sin and call that love. It is not. Being nice and love are two very different things. You loving someone doesn’t mean you accept their sins or go along with their sins. Jesus said in John 14:15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” So, if you do not follow the commandments, you are sinning. Therefore, not showing love to God. And God IS love, so if you want others to LOVE you, shouldn’t GOD be the root of it, and if He’s the root of it, doesn’t that mean you need to STOP SINNING? With that being said, you can’t be in the middle of your sin and trying to tell others that’s trying to correct and help you that THEY need to love! You’re not even showing love to the One that IS love!!! “…God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16)

There are also many people that like to use love manipulate others to get what they want. They try to make you feel guilty and use love to mean that you owe them something. For example, if you love me, you will do this for me or do that for me. And it’s usually something that goes against God’s word and His will. In situations like this, you really have to understand what love is and this is not it! My response to people like this would be, “And if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t be trying to talk me into going against God’s will.”

And those of us that believe we love someone, but it’s only lust. We’ve all been there! You just like to person for how they look and how they make you feel physically, but love goes beyond that. If you can drop someone instantly because they are not fulfilling something physical that you want or something materialistic that you want, you never loved them. It’s time we get to a point where we actually call things what they really are. Actual love should be called love. Lust should be called love. STOP calling lust love. They are certainly not the same!

So What Is Love?

As I’ve mentioned before, God is love. If it’s truly love, then it is of God. The bible spells out what love is. It is patient, it is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not arrogant, it is not rude, it does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable, it is not resentful, it does NOT rejoice in wrongdoing, but it rejoices with the TRUTH, love bears ALL things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things, love NEVER ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

People seem to get the kindness confused with truth. Speaking the truth is not being unkind. Especially when the purpose of speaking the truth is to help you.  If you are in wrongdoing and get angry when you hear the truth about your wrongdoing, you may want to step back and think about why exactly are you getting angry instead of realizing you need to fix that problem…

People speaking the truth to bring conviction to others (which is to help you get on the right track, if you are convicted then you feel bad about your wrongdoing and realize God is watching your every move…) is not hate or judgment. It’s simply bringing to your attention what you’re doing wrong and what the actual judgment will be if you don’t stop and repent. A lot of times, it’s easy for people to tell you the truth and shame it brings because they’ve been there, too! They know that it brings nothing but shame and eternal misery. It would actually be the OPPOSITE of love if they knew all of this and DID NOT warn you!!!

And yes, you can tell the truth without being rude or condescending. People should see and feel the love, too. You can’t just tell people the truth about everything and think you are loving when you are rude and hateful with it. Remember, love is not arrogant. When you share truth with others, it should come from a loving place and brings those in wrongdoing to conviction, not condemnation. Love hopes all things. It should bring hope, not take away anyone’s hope. And you can love people and still let them know you are not accepting, condoning, or tolerating sin of any kind. Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, so no we are NOT going to celebrate your sin.

Love is also part of the fruit of the Spirit. (Notice it’s fruit, not fruits.) The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22) So all 9 things together make up THE FRUIT of the Spirit. Without love, it’s impossible to live by the Spirit! Notice that another part of the fruit is patience and kindness. We already know that love is patient and kind. So without love, you can’t function in those two!

Also, remember, love is choice. You choose to love. Love is unconditional and endures all. When people say they fell out of love with someone, they never loved the person. They lusted after the other person or liked what the other person could do for them. But that isn’t love. I titled this post “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” because love has everything to do with everything. God is love and God is our everything. We cannot abide in his Spirit without love. Obviously, I got the title from the Tina Turner song, but she was singing about love not meaning anything. This is why I am explaining all of this. In her next line she says that love is just a second-hand emotion. Well, I beg to differ. Love is not an emotion. It is a choice and it is something you DO. Tina based that song on the struggles she went through, but that struggle was not love at all. This is why we can’t confuse love with words people say. Watch their actions. What are they doing? Do their actions SHOW love? Do they show patience and kindness? Do they show generosity and modesty? Are they humble and polite? Do they do what’s right and not all about what they want?  Are they good-tempered and forgiving?

Someone treating you badly is NOT LOVE. Someone manipulating you is NOT LOVE (Remember what happened to Samson??? Judges 16). Defending sin is NOT LOVE!!!

Webster’s Dictionary refers to love first as a noun, but according to the Word of God, it is a verb first! It’s what you do! (1 John 3:18)

God defines love as:

-part of the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22)

-patient

-kind

-not envious

-not boasting

-not arrogant

-not rude

-not insisting on its own way

-not irritable

-not resentful

-NOT rejoicing in wrongdoing

-rejoicing with truth

-bearing all things

-believing all things

-hoping all things

-enduring all things

-never ending

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8

How many of you do all of these to those you say that you love??? Hhmmmm…

Something to think about…

Let me also ask you these questions:

Do you exemplify this love to your enemies? (Matthew 5:43-48)

Are you willing to give up a child? (John 3:16)

Are you following the law? (Romans 13:10)

Do you say you love God, but your actions show you hate your brother? (1 John 4:20,

Would you lay down your life for a friend? (John 15:13)

Are you a friend to Jesus? (John 15:14)

Are you following the law? (John 15:14)

Do you love Jesus? (John 14:15)

Are you following the law? (John 14:15)

Do you owe others nothing but love? (Romans 13:8)

Are you following the law? (Romans 13:8)

Are you in fear? (1 John 4:18)

1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. We know because of its repetition that love is fulfilling the law. God is the fulfillment of the law. How?

Matthew 5:17- Jesus came to fulfill the law.

God is love. Love is fulfilling the law. Jesus came to fulfill the law. Jesus is God with us.

We can’t have God without love. We can’t have love without the law. We can’t have the fulfillment of the law without Jesus. We can’t have Jesus without God.

Love is God. Love is Jesus. Love is the law.

That, my friends, is what’s love got to do with it! (Notice it doesn’t have anything to do with accepting other peoples’ sins or trying to make them feel less ashamed for their sin! That isn’t love!)

About The Author

Amy McCutcheon is a loving wife to Angelo McCutcheon and mom to two boys, AJ and Amauri McCutcheon. She is the creator of A Supermom’s Journey, a blog about motherhood and all that it entails. You can read more about the journey at  www.supermomsjourney.com.  Amy is also an educator and teaches middle school ELA and reading. She also teaches English online to ESL students in China. Amy is also the creator of the YouTube channel A Supermoms Journey and runs a tutoring service called AR Learning where she tutors students ages 4-18 in all core subjects and helps adults with obtaining their GED, college entrance essays, resume writing, and document proofreading. You can book an appointment at www.arlearning.wix.com/home. Amy is in ministry with her husband. They run EBT Ministries which is an outreach ministry to help believers truly understand Yah’s (God) word and the truth about being a child of Yah. You can learn more about the ministry at www.ebtminitries.org. Amy is the creator of the blog GMEL (God, Marriage, Education, Life) where she writes about what Yah’s word says about life for a woman. To continue to read, go to www.gmel2000.blogspot.com.

Want to contact Amy?

Email: mrsm3108@gmail.com

Emotional Thermostat: How To Keep Your Emotions Under Control And Aligned With The Word Of God

We all have emotions that we experience depending on different situations. As females, we tend to experience more emotions and stronger emotions than men. We have to have more venting sessions, crying sessions, and other things that may seem a bit “extra” when we deal with our emotions. Some things may be no big deal to others while we may find ourselves overly emotional about the exact same thing. Now, I’m not saying that as women, we should not be so emotional. No, we cannot help that! It is part of our being, part of our DNA make up! We are emotional beings and we NEED to be in order to the nurturing mothers we were created to be! What I’m getting at is when we tend to let our emotions become our REALITY!

Trials and tribulations happen all throughout life. We know that. But when we let the emotions that we feel during those times become our reality, or plainly said, we let our sadness make us feel like that’s how things will be forever, that is a problem. Things happen and we lose hope. We lose sight of what we were originally seeking, and lose confidence in God. We start to let that sadness cause us to feel like there is no hope and nothing good will come out of the situation. But I am here to tell you that you CAN NOT let your emotions become your reality! You cannot let your emotions get the best of you! You cannot let your emotions run your life! And most of all, you cannot let your emotions make you forget the God we serve and how powerful he is and how loving he is and how merciful he is and how FAITHFUL he is!

As women, we need our emotions to properly be the nurturers we are created to be as I said before, but our emotions are separate from our faith in God. Faith is not based on emotion. Faith is based on hearing the word of God DESPITE your emotions! I have seen things happen to friends that if they let their emotions take the lead, they would have lost EVERYTHING! What led me to write out this is the fact that I have dealt with my strong, over-powering emotions through a recent testing of my faith. In October of 2014, I miscarried for the first time. It was my very first pregnancy and my husband and I were super excited. I later found out that I had a blighted ovum, a sac but no baby. Later, in December I found out I was pregnant again. In February of this year, I miscarried again. This time, there was a baby, but the baby’s heart eventually stopped. After wanting to be a mom so bad, and coming short at every time I tried and losing actual babies and knowing I couldn’t help them, ripped me apart. And this is normal. It’s a terrible thing to go through. It’s hard, it’s hurtful, it’s exhausting, it’s heartbreaking. But while emotions say to “dwell in this pain, give up hope, you won’t be a mom, just quit, it hurts too bad to keep trying, you are going to fail again if you keep going, just cry and be angry at others who are moms, you have every right to be bitter…”, FAITH says “But God…”

I, too, had to remember that God is in control and that my faith lies in him, not my circumstance. Jeremiah 29:11 tells me that God knows the plans that he has for me and that they are plans for peace and not for evil, to give me a future and hope! I then read Romans 12:12, which says, “Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, and be constant in prayer,” and this was definitely the game changer for me. I knew I had to change my focus to God.  I needed to keep hope and be joyful because I’m still able to hope, to expect good things! I needed to be patient through the troubles because they won’t last always and patience will help me get through to the end. Remember, the race is not given to the swift nor to the strong, but to those that endures to the END! (Ecclesiastes 9:11) So, being patient through the hard times gets me to the end of the race! Also, it tells me that I need to be constant in prayer! I have to always be in connection with God, always keeping up with my relationship with him. Being constant in prayer keeps me close to God and it helps God help me through the tough situations. Part of dealing with things is following God’s lead and a lot of answers come through constant prayer.

I also read Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 which states that there are times for everything! There is a time to cry, and there is a time to rejoice. So, it’s okay to be sad at times, but don’t let that season last forever for you. Endure to the end and come out of it! Again, I’m not saying to forget about those things as if they don’t matter or didn’t mean anything. What I mean is, you build back up with strength to grow stronger another day. I still have sad moments at this point, but I don’t let it run my entire day. I let my emotions be emotions, NOT my REALITY! I take up the whole armor of God and STAND FIRM! (Ephesians 6:13) I know that God has plans for me and my future family. I have to be patient to reach my reward.

It’s okay to have emotions in different situations. You are human. The thing is, don’t let those emotions run your life. Don’t let those emotions determine your circumstance. Things may be bad right now, but your emotions can make you think that things will be bad from this point on with no end and no hope. That is what I am trying to get you to understand to not do. Let your emotions show that you are sad in this season, but let your faith show that joy comes in the morning! Let your emotions show that you are happy in this season, but let your faith show that it is only through the goodness of God. No matter the situation, let your circumstance be determined by God’s word, not your emotions.

About The Author

Amy McCutcheon is a loving wife to Angelo McCutcheon and mom to two boys, AJ and Amauri McCutcheon. She is the creator of A Supermom’s Journey, a blog about motherhood and all that it entails. You can read more about the journey at  www.supermomsjourney.com.  Amy is also an educator and teaches middle school ELA and reading. She also teaches English online to ESL students in China. Amy is also the creator of the YouTube channel A Supermoms Journey and runs a tutoring service called AR Learning where she tutors students ages 4-18 in all core subjects and helps adults with obtaining their GED, college entrance essays, resume writing, and document proofreading. You can book an appointment at www.arlearning.wix.com/home. Amy is in ministry with her husband. They run EBT Ministries which is an outreach ministry to help believers truly understand Yah’s (God) word and the truth about being a child of Yah. You can learn more about the ministry at www.ebtminitries.org. Amy is the creator of this blog GMEL (God, Marriage, Education, Life) where she writes about what Yah’s word says about life for a woman. To continue to read, go to www.gmel2000.blogspot.com.

Want to contact Amy?

Email: mrsm3108@gmail.com

Just Keep Swimming!

I made a previous reference to Dory from the movie “Finding Nemo” when talking about letting go of those things that are actually keeping us from following God and inheriting the good he has for us. If you take even further it also leads into faith. That little blue fish continued to sing that song and keep going despite the surroundings, despite the odds of actually reaching their destination, and despite the attacks. I look at this as how our faith in God should be.

In order to first have faith, we need to hear from God. He is our guide, he will lead us in the right directions. When he gives directions or instructions, our job is to follow. We follow despite our surroundings, despite our situations, despite our FEELINGS! This is faith. When God says to do something and you can’t figure out how it’s going to work out, but you do it anyway is faith in God.

My students, as always, come to mind as I think of this topic. When I give them directions on completing assignments, sometimes the directions sound complicated or pointless. Sometimes my students don’t see the point or don’t understand the connection to the expected outcome, or sometimes don’t even realize what the outcome will be! But I tell them to TRUST me. I give them a little bit at a time. Complete the first direction. When you’ve done that, I will give the next. 

Sometimes they are too afraid to move forward because of fear of failure. I reassure them that it is okay and that I will not let them fail. They then move forward. By the time they complete all of the directions, they have a full project completed. I can then review the steps that they took and show the connections. They can look back and see how they figured things out and worked out problems and see how it led to the final project.

If we follow God’s directions like we should, we could see so much growth and so many completed projects, but because we lose faith, we have so many unfinished projects and are completely unaware of their rewards. We have to follow God’s directions despite what people may say, despite what they may think, and despite how it may makes you look. We have to follow even when the situation seems like you can’t make it. When it seems like there’s no way through. When it seems like it won’t get better. When it hurts too bad. When you have no more strength. Because everything you need comes from God. Your peace, your bravery, your boldness, your strength, your endurance! Keep faith and He will supply all of your needs (Philippians 4:19)! Your needs to get through. Your needs to keep going. Your needs to overcome!

Misconceptions of Faith

Many people, even believers, have this idea that faith is naming, claiming, and believing God for something. Their mindset is solely on physical/material things. If you want a brand new BMW 7-Class with ALL of the upgrades, we believe if we go to the dealership, lay hands on it and name it, claim it, and believe God for it, then it will show up in our driveway with the title and all and be ours. Now, faith doesn’t work like this. Not faith. If you want something, I’m DEFINITELY not saying God can’t or won’t make it happen for you, but this isn’t faith. This is just wanting something material and hoping God honors your request to have it. No different from a child wanting a special toy and hoping their parents get it for them. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. It depends on if the parent sees fit. Same with God. If He sees fit, then he will make that way. Also, if that child is making bad grades and not doing their chores, misbehaving, more than likely the parents will not give that child that special toy. They haven’t earned it. They haven’t showed themselves deserving. 

We can claim a shiny new car all day long, but if don’t even work for it or towards it, or don’t take care of what we already have, or don’t behave like we should, why would God bless us with it or see fit to let us have it??? This is the misconception of faith. Faith in God isn’t that if I name it and claim it then it’s mine. If you want something, you simply work for it and work towards it. Faith is so much BIGGER than this.

Faith is so much BIGGER than material things and how fast and how much you can get. Matthew 21:22 says “and whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith.” So, first you have to make sure your prayers are even heard. Proverbs 28:9 says that those that turn away from the law, even their prayers are an abomination. If you’re not following the law, you can pray all you want! 

What is the law? Read Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, and Deuteronomy. Or check out this list of God’s laws. If you follow God’s law, you’re following God’s word! When you do this, as you pray, you will know what to pray! Even when you are unsure what to pray about, God will give it to you! It will come out in your prayer! I have done this many times. I’ve felt like there was SOMETHING I needed to address with God, but couldn’t figure it out myself. I just went into prayer and He provided me with what I needed to ask for or pray about. Our desires are HIS desires! That’s why when we ask, we receive because God already wants it for us.

There are so many that quote Romans 4: 17 where it says, “calleth those things which be not as though they were.” But people neglect to look at the whole thing. It says, “As it is written, I have made thee a father of many nations, before him whom he believed, even God, who quickeneth the dead and calleth those things which be not as though they were.” GOD is the one that calls those things that be not as though they were!!! It doesn’t say you do!! You are supposed to have FAITH in the GOD that calls those things that be not as though they were! When someone dies, you don’t see people always hollering, “The bible says to raise the dead!!!” But when someone wants a shiny new car to flash in front of everyone or a gigantic house, then it’s “God said to speak those things that be not as though they were!!!!” But God did not say that. This was Paul talking about Abraham’s faith in the God THAT raises the dead and CREATES ALL NEW THINGS!!!

What is Faith?

Faith is believing God’s word. It’s believing God’s word when, as said above, everything around you says, shows, and feels the opposite. Faith is believing in God’s word and moving on it despite how you feel or how bad your situation is. Faith is moving on God’s word when you don’t even understand the purpose. Faith is believing and moving on God’s word when you don’t know what the outcome will be. Because God said it, you do it. Because God said it, you believe it. Because God said it, you trust it. Faith is when you want to quit because you see no end or no escape, but God says just “keep swimming”, keep going! Trust Him! Depend on Him!

Faith is when you are in a dark place and you see no way out, but God says, “I am the light of the world, Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life,”(John 8:12) so you KEEP walking and what do find? LIGHT!!! That’s how faith works! Faith is NOT believing in your wants. You know the routine, people see something they want (a shiny new car) and believe they are going to get that want and say “God said that’s my car!” No, you said it’s your car. That’s believing in a want, not having faith in God.

What I’m saying is faith is believing and trusting God’s word despite the situation or the possible outcome. “Faith comes from HEARING, and hearing the WORD of GOD!” (Romans 10:17) Faith is believing and trusting what you have HEARD God say. What does he say? Well, we can read his WORD all through the Holy Bible! That’s how we even know what faith is! Build your relationship with God and learn to HEAR Him speak to you. When His WORD is shared in services, pay attention!

If there is something you want that is material, it’s okay to want, but make sure having that thing is God’s desire for you. We get having faith confused with wanting things. So, if there is something you want, let me share with you how to handle that without becoming greedy for worldly things and never being satisfied or content.

As I’ve said before, build your relationship with God. Get close to Him so that you can tell when He is speaking to you and you understand what He is saying. He will guide your steps throughout your day. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths (or guide your steps)” (Proverbs 3:5-6). So, once you’ve built this relationship, your desires will be his desires. “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4). This is because once you become close with God, your desires are actually his desires for you. You will want what it is God wants for you! When you let God guide your every step, you tend to want what it is he wants for you and when that’s the case, he will give it to you!

Let me give you a personal example. When I was in my first year of college, I was looking for a part time job so I could make my own money and start being more independent and learning more adult skills. I had been looking for a job since I was 16. I was 18 at this point. I never had a job before, with all the applications I had filled out and turned in, I had never even been called for an interview. I was well into my studies in college and job searching was just getting really frustrating and tiresome. I started to wonder if I really needed to be pursuing a job at the time. After all, my parents had always thought I should just focus on my studies and they would help me with whatever I needed. So, I was wondering if that’s what God wanted, too. I wanted to do what he wanted me to do.

After a long day of putting in applications, I sat in my car on campus and just cried out to God. I knew he already knew how I felt and what was going on, but I just needed to pour out my heart and my frustrations and seek guidance because my way was not working. (This is where I learned that I can’t depend on things happening my way!) I asked God what he wanted me to do. I asked him if it was his will for me to have a job at the moment or did I need to wait. I let him know that I was on the brink of calling the job searching quits. I let God know that if he wanted me to have a job then, I would be happy.  I also let him know that if he did not want me to have a job yet, I would be happy. I just wanted to do what he wanted. I knew he would guide my steps and everything in my life would, to me, fall into place, but to him, go as planned! This was a Wednesday when I sat in my car having this talk with God. That following Friday I got a call for an interview and was hired on the spot! I started my first job that next Tuesday! I can even go into how this job was aligned with God’s purpose for me, but I will save that for another post!

My point is, faith is believing in God’s word. Desiring THINGS is not faith. When desiring things, make sure it all aligns with God’s will. If it doesn’t, you don’t need it. Therefore, should not want it. Nobody wants the best for you as much as God does, so why would want something he doesn’t even want for you? Think about it. And stop “having faith in getting a car” and have faith that God will lead you to be the person he has created you to be despite the world!

About The Author

Amy McCutcheon is a loving wife to Angelo McCutcheon and mom to two boys, AJ and Amauri McCutcheon. She is the creator of A Supermom’s Journey, a blog about motherhood and all that it entails. You can read more about the journey at  www.supermomsjourney.com.  Amy is also an educator and teaches middle school ELA and reading. She also teaches English online to ESL students in China. Amy is also the creator of the YouTube channel A Supermoms Journey and runs a tutoring service called AR Learning where she tutors students ages 4-18 in all core subjects and helps adults with obtaining their GED, college entrance essays, resume writing, and document proofreading. You can book an appointment at www.arlearning.wix.com/home. Amy is in ministry with her husband. They run EBT Ministries which is an outreach ministry to help believers truly understand Yah’s (God) word and the truth about being a child of Yah. You can learn more about the ministry at www.ebtminitries.org. Amy is the creator of this blog GMEL (God, Marriage, Education, Life) where she writes about what Yah’s word says about life for a woman. To continue to read, go to www.gmel2000.blogspot.com.

Want to contact Amy?

Email: mrsm3108@gmail.com