What's Love Got To Do With It?

The Misconception of Love

Love is one of those things that I hear people throw around so casually and incorrectly. It is used to make excuses for wrong-doings, it’s used to try to make people feel guilty, and it’s used to describe an emotion that’s not truly love. With that being said, the way people use love is actually not love at all. They use it to manipulate. That’s not love. They use it to justify their sins. That’s not love. They use it to describe their lust. That’s not love.

When someone does something wrong and are sinning and you try to tell and explain to them how it’s wrong and the consequences of those actions, but they get angry and say you are supposed to LOVE everyone and not JUDGE, one-that’s not judging and two-love isn’t letting you continue sinning while I smile and watch or tell you everything is going to be okay. If you see you child steal something, you’re not going to sit and smile and tell them everything is okay and accept that they are thieves because you love them! NO!!! You’re going to stop them, get on to them, tell them it’s wrong and why it’s wrong, and you’re going to punish them! Why? Because you love them! You don’t want to see them going down a bad path. You don’t want to see them heading towards destruction or eventually eternal doom. So because you LOVE them, you will raise your voice and punish them, but you will also talk to them and teach them.

So many people want you to be NICE to them while they sin and call that love. It is not. Being nice and love are two very different things. You loving someone doesn’t mean you accept their sins or go along with their sins. Jesus said in John 14:15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” So, if you do not follow the commandments, you are sinning. Therefore, not showing love to God. And God IS love, so if you want others to LOVE you, shouldn’t GOD be the root of it, and if He’s the root of it, doesn’t that mean you need to STOP SINNING? With that being said, you can’t be in the middle of your sin and trying to tell others that’s trying to correct and help you that THEY need to love! You’re not even showing love to the One that IS love!!! “…God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16)

There are also many people that like to use love manipulate others to get what they want. They try to make you feel guilty and use love to mean that you owe them something. For example, if you love me, you will do this for me or do that for me. And it’s usually something that goes against God’s word and His will. In situations like this, you really have to understand what love is and this is not it! My response to people like this would be, “And if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t be trying to talk me into going against God’s will.”

And those of us that believe we love someone, but it’s only lust. We’ve all been there! You just like to person for how they look and how they make you feel physically, but love goes beyond that. If you can drop someone instantly because they are not fulfilling something physical that you want or something materialistic that you want, you never loved them. It’s time we get to a point where we actually call things what they really are. Actual love should be called love. Lust should be called love. STOP calling lust love. They are certainly not the same!

So What Is Love?

As I’ve mentioned before, God is love. If it’s truly love, then it is of God. The bible spells out what love is. It is patient, it is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not arrogant, it is not rude, it does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable, it is not resentful, it does NOT rejoice in wrongdoing, but it rejoices with the TRUTH, love bears ALL things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things, love NEVER ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

People seem to get the kindness confused with truth. Speaking the truth is not being unkind. Especially when the purpose of speaking the truth is to help you.  If you are in wrongdoing and get angry when you hear the truth about your wrongdoing, you may want to step back and think about why exactly are you getting angry instead of realizing you need to fix that problem…

People speaking the truth to bring conviction to others (which is to help you get on the right track, if you are convicted then you feel bad about your wrongdoing and realize God is watching your every move…) is not hate or judgment. It’s simply bringing to your attention what you’re doing wrong and what the actual judgment will be if you don’t stop and repent. A lot of times, it’s easy for people to tell you the truth and shame it brings because they’ve been there, too! They know that it brings nothing but shame and eternal misery. It would actually be the OPPOSITE of love if they knew all of this and DID NOT warn you!!!

And yes, you can tell the truth without being rude or condescending. People should see and feel the love, too. You can’t just tell people the truth about everything and think you are loving when you are rude and hateful with it. Remember, love is not arrogant. When you share truth with others, it should come from a loving place and brings those in wrongdoing to conviction, not condemnation. Love hopes all things. It should bring hope, not take away anyone’s hope. And you can love people and still let them know you are not accepting, condoning, or tolerating sin of any kind. Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, so no we are NOT going to celebrate your sin.

Love is also part of the fruit of the Spirit. (Notice it’s fruit, not fruits.) The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22) So all 9 things together make up THE FRUIT of the Spirit. Without love, it’s impossible to live by the Spirit! Notice that another part of the fruit is patience and kindness. We already know that love is patient and kind. So without love, you can’t function in those two!

Also, remember, love is choice. You choose to love. Love is unconditional and endures all. When people say they fell out of love with someone, they never loved the person. They lusted after the other person or liked what the other person could do for them. But that isn’t love. I titled this post “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” because love has everything to do with everything. God is love and God is our everything. We cannot abide in his Spirit without love. Obviously, I got the title from the Tina Turner song, but she was singing about love not meaning anything. This is why I am explaining all of this. In her next line she says that love is just a second-hand emotion. Well, I beg to differ. Love is not an emotion. It is a choice and it is something you DO. Tina based that song on the struggles she went through, but that struggle was not love at all. This is why we can’t confuse love with words people say. Watch their actions. What are they doing? Do their actions SHOW love? Do they show patience and kindness? Do they show generosity and modesty? Are they humble and polite? Do they do what’s right and not all about what they want?  Are they good-tempered and forgiving?

Someone treating you badly is NOT LOVE. Someone manipulating you is NOT LOVE (Remember what happened to Samson??? Judges 16). Defending sin is NOT LOVE!!!

Webster’s Dictionary refers to love first as a noun, but according to the Word of God, it is a verb first! It’s what you do! (1 John 3:18)

God defines love as:

-part of the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22)

-patient

-kind

-not envious

-not boasting

-not arrogant

-not rude

-not insisting on its own way

-not irritable

-not resentful

-NOT rejoicing in wrongdoing

-rejoicing with truth

-bearing all things

-believing all things

-hoping all things

-enduring all things

-never ending

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8

How many of you do all of these to those you say that you love??? Hhmmmm…

Something to think about…

Let me also ask you these questions:

Do you exemplify this love to your enemies? (Matthew 5:43-48)

Are you willing to give up a child? (John 3:16)

Are you following the law? (Romans 13:10)

Do you say you love God, but your actions show you hate your brother? (1 John 4:20,

Would you lay down your life for a friend? (John 15:13)

Are you a friend to Jesus? (John 15:14)

Are you following the law? (John 15:14)

Do you love Jesus? (John 14:15)

Are you following the law? (John 14:15)

Do you owe others nothing but love? (Romans 13:8)

Are you following the law? (Romans 13:8)

Are you in fear? (1 John 4:18)

1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. We know because of its repetition that love is fulfilling the law. God is the fulfillment of the law. How?

Matthew 5:17- Jesus came to fulfill the law.

God is love. Love is fulfilling the law. Jesus came to fulfill the law. Jesus is God with us.

We can’t have God without love. We can’t have love without the law. We can’t have the fulfillment of the law without Jesus. We can’t have Jesus without God.

Love is God. Love is Jesus. Love is the law.

That, my friends, is what’s love got to do with it! (Notice it doesn’t have anything to do with accepting other peoples’ sins or trying to make them feel less ashamed for their sin! That isn’t love!)

About The Author

Amy McCutcheon is a loving wife to Angelo McCutcheon and mom to two boys, AJ and Amauri McCutcheon. She is the creator of A Supermom’s Journey, a blog about motherhood and all that it entails. You can read more about the journey at  www.supermomsjourney.com.  Amy is also an educator and teaches middle school ELA and reading. She also teaches English online to ESL students in China. Amy is also the creator of the YouTube channel A Supermoms Journey and runs a tutoring service called AR Learning where she tutors students ages 4-18 in all core subjects and helps adults with obtaining their GED, college entrance essays, resume writing, and document proofreading. You can book an appointment at www.arlearning.wix.com/home. Amy is in ministry with her husband. They run EBT Ministries which is an outreach ministry to help believers truly understand Yah’s (God) word and the truth about being a child of Yah. You can learn more about the ministry at www.ebtminitries.org. Amy is the creator of the blog GMEL (God, Marriage, Education, Life) where she writes about what Yah’s word says about life for a woman. To continue to read, go to www.gmel2000.blogspot.com.

Want to contact Amy?

Email: mrsm3108@gmail.com