What's Love Got To Do With It?

The Misconception of Love

Love is one of those things that I hear people throw around so casually and incorrectly. It is used to make excuses for wrong-doings, it’s used to try to make people feel guilty, and it’s used to describe an emotion that’s not truly love. With that being said, the way people use love is actually not love at all. They use it to manipulate. That’s not love. They use it to justify their sins. That’s not love. They use it to describe their lust. That’s not love.

When someone does something wrong and are sinning and you try to tell and explain to them how it’s wrong and the consequences of those actions, but they get angry and say you are supposed to LOVE everyone and not JUDGE, one-that’s not judging and two-love isn’t letting you continue sinning while I smile and watch or tell you everything is going to be okay. If you see you child steal something, you’re not going to sit and smile and tell them everything is okay and accept that they are thieves because you love them! NO!!! You’re going to stop them, get on to them, tell them it’s wrong and why it’s wrong, and you’re going to punish them! Why? Because you love them! You don’t want to see them going down a bad path. You don’t want to see them heading towards destruction or eventually eternal doom. So because you LOVE them, you will raise your voice and punish them, but you will also talk to them and teach them.

So many people want you to be NICE to them while they sin and call that love. It is not. Being nice and love are two very different things. You loving someone doesn’t mean you accept their sins or go along with their sins. Jesus said in John 14:15 “If you love me, you will keep my commandments.” So, if you do not follow the commandments, you are sinning. Therefore, not showing love to God. And God IS love, so if you want others to LOVE you, shouldn’t GOD be the root of it, and if He’s the root of it, doesn’t that mean you need to STOP SINNING? With that being said, you can’t be in the middle of your sin and trying to tell others that’s trying to correct and help you that THEY need to love! You’re not even showing love to the One that IS love!!! “…God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.” (1 John 4:16)

There are also many people that like to use love manipulate others to get what they want. They try to make you feel guilty and use love to mean that you owe them something. For example, if you love me, you will do this for me or do that for me. And it’s usually something that goes against God’s word and His will. In situations like this, you really have to understand what love is and this is not it! My response to people like this would be, “And if you truly loved me, you wouldn’t be trying to talk me into going against God’s will.”

And those of us that believe we love someone, but it’s only lust. We’ve all been there! You just like to person for how they look and how they make you feel physically, but love goes beyond that. If you can drop someone instantly because they are not fulfilling something physical that you want or something materialistic that you want, you never loved them. It’s time we get to a point where we actually call things what they really are. Actual love should be called love. Lust should be called love. STOP calling lust love. They are certainly not the same!

So What Is Love?

As I’ve mentioned before, God is love. If it’s truly love, then it is of God. The bible spells out what love is. It is patient, it is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not arrogant, it is not rude, it does not insist on its own way, it is not irritable, it is not resentful, it does NOT rejoice in wrongdoing, but it rejoices with the TRUTH, love bears ALL things, it believes all things, it hopes all things, it endures all things, love NEVER ends. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

People seem to get the kindness confused with truth. Speaking the truth is not being unkind. Especially when the purpose of speaking the truth is to help you.  If you are in wrongdoing and get angry when you hear the truth about your wrongdoing, you may want to step back and think about why exactly are you getting angry instead of realizing you need to fix that problem…

People speaking the truth to bring conviction to others (which is to help you get on the right track, if you are convicted then you feel bad about your wrongdoing and realize God is watching your every move…) is not hate or judgment. It’s simply bringing to your attention what you’re doing wrong and what the actual judgment will be if you don’t stop and repent. A lot of times, it’s easy for people to tell you the truth and shame it brings because they’ve been there, too! They know that it brings nothing but shame and eternal misery. It would actually be the OPPOSITE of love if they knew all of this and DID NOT warn you!!!

And yes, you can tell the truth without being rude or condescending. People should see and feel the love, too. You can’t just tell people the truth about everything and think you are loving when you are rude and hateful with it. Remember, love is not arrogant. When you share truth with others, it should come from a loving place and brings those in wrongdoing to conviction, not condemnation. Love hopes all things. It should bring hope, not take away anyone’s hope. And you can love people and still let them know you are not accepting, condoning, or tolerating sin of any kind. Love does not rejoice in wrongdoing, so no we are NOT going to celebrate your sin.

Love is also part of the fruit of the Spirit. (Notice it’s fruit, not fruits.) The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, meekness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22) So all 9 things together make up THE FRUIT of the Spirit. Without love, it’s impossible to live by the Spirit! Notice that another part of the fruit is patience and kindness. We already know that love is patient and kind. So without love, you can’t function in those two!

Also, remember, love is choice. You choose to love. Love is unconditional and endures all. When people say they fell out of love with someone, they never loved the person. They lusted after the other person or liked what the other person could do for them. But that isn’t love. I titled this post “What’s Love Got To Do With It?” because love has everything to do with everything. God is love and God is our everything. We cannot abide in his Spirit without love. Obviously, I got the title from the Tina Turner song, but she was singing about love not meaning anything. This is why I am explaining all of this. In her next line she says that love is just a second-hand emotion. Well, I beg to differ. Love is not an emotion. It is a choice and it is something you DO. Tina based that song on the struggles she went through, but that struggle was not love at all. This is why we can’t confuse love with words people say. Watch their actions. What are they doing? Do their actions SHOW love? Do they show patience and kindness? Do they show generosity and modesty? Are they humble and polite? Do they do what’s right and not all about what they want?  Are they good-tempered and forgiving?

Someone treating you badly is NOT LOVE. Someone manipulating you is NOT LOVE (Remember what happened to Samson??? Judges 16). Defending sin is NOT LOVE!!!

Webster’s Dictionary refers to love first as a noun, but according to the Word of God, it is a verb first! It’s what you do! (1 John 3:18)

God defines love as:

-part of the fruit of the spirit (Galatians 5:22)

-patient

-kind

-not envious

-not boasting

-not arrogant

-not rude

-not insisting on its own way

-not irritable

-not resentful

-NOT rejoicing in wrongdoing

-rejoicing with truth

-bearing all things

-believing all things

-hoping all things

-enduring all things

-never ending

(1 Corinthians 13:4-8

How many of you do all of these to those you say that you love??? Hhmmmm…

Something to think about…

Let me also ask you these questions:

Do you exemplify this love to your enemies? (Matthew 5:43-48)

Are you willing to give up a child? (John 3:16)

Are you following the law? (Romans 13:10)

Do you say you love God, but your actions show you hate your brother? (1 John 4:20,

Would you lay down your life for a friend? (John 15:13)

Are you a friend to Jesus? (John 15:14)

Are you following the law? (John 15:14)

Do you love Jesus? (John 14:15)

Are you following the law? (John 14:15)

Do you owe others nothing but love? (Romans 13:8)

Are you following the law? (Romans 13:8)

Are you in fear? (1 John 4:18)

1 John 4:8 tells us that God is love. We know because of its repetition that love is fulfilling the law. God is the fulfillment of the law. How?

Matthew 5:17- Jesus came to fulfill the law.

God is love. Love is fulfilling the law. Jesus came to fulfill the law. Jesus is God with us.

We can’t have God without love. We can’t have love without the law. We can’t have the fulfillment of the law without Jesus. We can’t have Jesus without God.

Love is God. Love is Jesus. Love is the law.

That, my friends, is what’s love got to do with it! (Notice it doesn’t have anything to do with accepting other peoples’ sins or trying to make them feel less ashamed for their sin! That isn’t love!)

About The Author

Amy McCutcheon is a loving wife to Angelo McCutcheon and mom to two boys, AJ and Amauri McCutcheon. She is the creator of A Supermom’s Journey, a blog about motherhood and all that it entails. You can read more about the journey at  www.supermomsjourney.com.  Amy is also an educator and teaches middle school ELA and reading. She also teaches English online to ESL students in China. Amy is also the creator of the YouTube channel A Supermoms Journey and runs a tutoring service called AR Learning where she tutors students ages 4-18 in all core subjects and helps adults with obtaining their GED, college entrance essays, resume writing, and document proofreading. You can book an appointment at www.arlearning.wix.com/home. Amy is in ministry with her husband. They run EBT Ministries which is an outreach ministry to help believers truly understand Yah’s (God) word and the truth about being a child of Yah. You can learn more about the ministry at www.ebtminitries.org. Amy is the creator of the blog GMEL (God, Marriage, Education, Life) where she writes about what Yah’s word says about life for a woman. To continue to read, go to www.gmel2000.blogspot.com.

Want to contact Amy?

Email: mrsm3108@gmail.com

A Parent's Secret Weapon

As a teacher, I see so many wonderful things happening with our children in their academics and athletics and just pure creativity. However, I also notice that there is a rise in the not-so-wonderful things. Therefore, I’m writing this post to ask the question:  When are we going to invest in our children?

By invest, I mean teach them the skill they need as a foundation to achieve well in school AND the proper social skills to successfully get through life’s situations AND teach them God’s word that will guide them through it ALL! They are our secret weapon. They carry on the legacy that we set. Are we doing a good job of polishing that weapon???

Nowadays, it seems it’s all about “gettin’ mine” and we neglect to take our abilities and wisdom and invest them in our children. Some of us are so worried about what our children can do for us that we don’t even teach them how to properly function first! Ask yourself this, how often do you just sit with your children (no TV, computers, no electronics at all) and talk to your children about serious topics, funny topics, encourage them, and about how they are gifts from God and how their good works and faith in Him pleases Him? How often? For those of you that do this very often, think about the other families you know. How often do they? Do you feel like the time you spend and invest in your children is more and more on the rare side in today’s society?

More and more children, CHILDREN, are committing suicide for reasons that could be overcome by knowing and understanding the goodness of God and that the race is given to those that ENDURE. We don’t teach our children to ENDURE! None of us would make it if we didn’t depend on God in some sort of way. Even those that are not saved, sanctified, and filled with the Holy Ghost get to a point where they begin to turn to Jesus. They may turn back to their sinful ways, but they know who to turn to when things get tough. That’s because Jesus carries us through those tough times. THAT’s how we endure!  We can’t do it without Jesus!  We have to lead our children to Jesus.

That means we have to take the time to read and learn God’s word for ourselves.  Jesus IS God’s word. Once you read enough of it, you will notice a pattern: it’s ALL about Jesus! “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not anything made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the life of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” (John 1:1) Jesus is the Word. And darkness has not and cannot overcome him.

We have to teach our children that through Jesus, we are more than conquerors and we have the victory. Ask your children: If you had to play a really hard game against someone and wasn’t for sure if you were good enough to win the really cool prize at the end, but if you lose your opponent will badly beat you up, would you play? If it got really hard in the game and you were losing really badly, would you quit in the middle of the game?

Then ask them: What if you had to play that same hard game, but you already knew you were going to win no matter what because you had a secret weapon for the game, would you play? If you start losing in the game, but you still know you will win that really cool prize anyway because of your secret weapon, would you give up in the middle of the game then?

We have to teach our children that Jesus is our secret weapon against the enemy, and the thing is, He’s not even a secret!! We have to teach our children that even when we look like we’re losing, if we keep going, we WILL win the victory! We have to give our children this foundation. Once they have this foundation and learn to depend on Jesus through their every move in life, they will be blessed academically, in athletics, musically, creatively, in whatever else they put their minds to and in being well-mannered, well behaved, respectful children because you will have set that foundation and they understand WHY they should do well in ALL that they do. We all know the verse about sparing the rod you spoil the child, but the ESV reads in an interesting way, “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24) Part of that foundation is discipline. It’s not the easiest or the most pleasant thing, but if you love your child enough and want enough for them to do well, it is a must.  We have to train our children how to live right! And TEACH them WHY certain things are wrong and why certain things are right.

You have now invested your time, energy, and knowledge in your children and have begun righteous generations to come! Psalms 127:3-4 says, “Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one’s youth.” Your children are your arrows, your weapons! You point them in the right direction and let them go!

Here are some verses to refer to:

Discipline-

Proverbs 22:6

3 John 1:4

Ephesians 6:4

Hebrew 12:11

Proverbs 23: 13-15

Proverbs 29:15

Proverbs 12:1

 

 Education-

Ecclesiastes 7:12

Proverbs 16:16

Romans 12:2

Proverbs 4:13

Proverbs 16:3

Deuteronomy 11:19

Proverbs 18:15

Proverbs 10:14

Proverbs 9:9-10

Daniel 1:17 (this whole story is powerful!)

Colossians 3:23-25

 

 Children are Blessings-

John 16:21-22

Matthew 18:1-6

Proverbs 17:6

Leviticus 18:21 (don’t abort)

Jeremiah 1:5 (God knows us before we are formed in the womb)

Why Do You Want To Get Married?

Are you wanting to get married because you want a big wedding and be the center of everyone’s attention? Are you wanting to get married because all of your friends around you are getting married? Or are you wanting to get married because you just don’t want to be by yourself, so you want to marry some person you know isn’t right, but you don’t want to chance being alone??

I have to ask this question because some of our reasons for getting married are not truly preparing us for what marriage really is. First you need to know what marriage means. In the beginning in Genesis chapter 2, God created Adam. God saw that it was not good that man be alone so He set to make a helper for Adam. God made every beast and bird and brought them to Adam. Adam named each animal, but he did not find a helper that was fit for him. God put him to sleep and created woman, taking a rib from Adam. God brought the woman to Adam. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24)

Okay, so here is the foundation of marriage. God created man and gave him a job (work the ground/garden). But God didn’t like him alone and man needed help. Thus, the woman was formed. Our original purpose is to help the man. It is so easy for us to walk around talking about how we don’t need a man, but the man needs US.

Ephesians 5:22 tells us that wives are to submit to their own husbands as to the Lord, meaning you submit to God by submitting to your husband. Verse 23 tells us that “the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church” and this is why we submit to our husbands. Now, this doesn’t mean that you bow at his every word. It means that you follow him while HE LEADS. If he says don’t do something, then don’t do it. Not because he is your bossy boss, but because it is meant to PROTECT you! Think of it this way, it’s storming outside and you’re poking holes in the umbrella! When you submit, you stay within the covering of the umbrella because it protects you from getting wet and messing up your hair! The umbrella takes the hits and the damage so you don’t have to. That’s why God said what he said (through Paul) in verses 25 and 26, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…” A wonderful act of love.

Remember Genesis 2:24 says that a man shall hold fast to his wife and they become ONE flesh. In 1 Corinthians 7:39, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives.” You know how everyone like tossing that word divorce around like it’s a salad you eat everyday? Well, the actual purpose of divorce was for when a man married a woman and found that after consummating the marriage, she was not pure (a virgin) and he could then divorce her because she had committed fornication (not adultery).  Everything else, you are supposed to work through that honey! And you knew it wasn’t going to be easy when you said, “for better or for worse.” Let’s talk about the marriage vows, shall we?

During marriages, we say these vows:

“I, (name), take you (name), to be my (wife/husband), to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part”

According to Webster’s Dictionary, a vow is promising something important. So, marriage shouldn’t be taken lightly as if promising to do the laundry or share half of your piece of cake. It is a promise to something IMPORTANT. It is a big deal, not a show to entertain others. In the marriage vows, you promise to have and hold this person from that day forward. It doesn’t say until you get tired or aggravated or until 2, 5, or 10 years. It doesn’t even say until!! From this day forward.

For better or for worse…That’s your good moments, your happy moments, your relaxed moments, your exciting moments AND your annoyed moments, your angry moments, hurt moments, your sad moments. The good and the bad! That means you work through the good, and you work through the bad. You know how some people are quick to give thanks to God when everything in their life is going so well, but as soon as bad times come, they forget to give thanks. We may be down and needs God help and strength even more, but we can’t forget to continue to give thanks for what we do have! Hebrews 13:5-6 says, “Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”” We should praise Him all through the storm, too. In marriage, we have to work out even through the storms. And there will be storms!

For richer, for poorer…the previous verses can also apply. The love of money messes up marriages. 1 Timothy 6:10 says, “For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils. It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” In marriage, let’s go back to Hebrews 13:5-5, be content with what you have and The Lord is my helper!

In sickness and in health…It’s easy to deal with some people when they are in good health, but what about when they are sick? How are you going to handle them while they are not well? It could be physically ill or mentally ill. Are you going to continue to lead them toward God or leave them because you feel it’s too much to handle or you just don’t want to deal? As women, we have to be the nurturer that our husbands need. And let’s face it, as women we can come down with the flu and a stomach virus all at the same time and STILL work, clean the house, grocery shop, and cook for the family while men can get the sniffles and they’re in bed for a week! LOL Now, I’m joking of course, but in marriage, we have to be ready take on the sickness along with the health. We have to help KEEP each other in good health.

To love and to cherish…The definition of love is well explained in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8. In verse 8, it says that love never ends. All of these other things come to an end, but not love. I talked about what love is in “Not Just A Lady, But God’s Lady Pt. 3”. Basically, love is all of these things: it is patient, it is kind, it does not envy or boast, it is not arrogant or rude, it does not insist in its own way, it is not irritable or resentful, it does not rejoice in wrongdoing, it rejoices with the truth, love bears all things, it believes all things, hopes all things, it endures all things, it never ends. It ENDURES! The storm, the sunshine, the rain, the wind…ALL! Cherish means to hold or treat tenderly or to keep in mind. In marriage, we are supposed to do these things from that day forward. And this is where we reach the “until”…

Until death do us part…Is just what it says, until DEATH do us part. I have heard SEVERAL people say that “till death do us part” means the death of the relationship. Your feelings may change (which they shouldn’t have in the first place which goes right back to why are you wanting to get married in the first place), but marriage is forever. Until one of you die. 1 Corinthians 7:39 says, “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” In marriage, the man and woman become one flesh. One. This brings to mind how after the marriage ceremony (that many people get married for), then comes the consummation (or completion) by way of sex (which is why it is meant for marriage, not for single people, so how many people are you married to???). The two become ONE. You are bound or tied together. Man and wife. Leader and helper. Reaching a single goal as ONE.

So why are you wanting to get married? Is it because of the thrill of the wedding ceremonies? Is to show off in front of others? Is it to look a certain way? Is it to prove something? Is it to keep from being lonely?

Can I talk about being lonely before I end this post? If God will never leave or forsake you, why are you lonely??? Before my husband showed up at my front door specially delivered by God Himself, I spent time alone…with God! I would read and study the Word, talk with Him, pray and just thank Him! I was okay with whatever His will was because who are we to say our own will is better than God’s?? He knows best, so all we have to do is trust Him. If you’re waiting on God to bring you that special person into your life, don’t you think you need to build you relationship with Him first?

Remember, “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrew 13:4

Marriage is honorable, treat it as such!

Amy M.

Ladies, Where Are Your Standards?

We have got to raise our standards!!!! Wanting a guy that's rich is not high standards. Wanting a guy with his pants hanging off is not high standards. Wanting a guy that does nothing but wait for you to be his mama is not high standards. Putting up with foolishness is not high standards. High standards mean QUALITY. Wanting a man that is good all the way around, wanting a man that has goals and include YOU in their goals, wanting a man that works and put in the best effort in his work, and wanting a man that treats you like the ROYALTY that YOU ARE is quality and sticking to that and making sure that man meets those things and continue to meet them is having high standards. Women keep complaining about finding a good man and first, HE needs to find YOU, and second, raise your standards!

 Looking for superficial things like money, nice car, and how they dress is going to disappoint you. It’s easy, cheap, and looking for the quantity not the QUALITY. So you have someone that has lots and lots of money. You can buy whatever you want and feel like you are “well taken care of” but are you really? If that is all you are looking for, what about how he treats you? What about what kind of father would he be? Are you okay with having the money and the ring, but he’s connecting with other women emotionally and physically? We can’t limit our standards to one feature!

Now, I’m not saying wanting to be able to pay your bills is bad or if you end up with someone with lots of money is bad. What I’m saying is don’t limit yourself to that one thing. Also, prioritize the traits that you want. Have deal breakers. What traits are good to have for you, but you will be okay without? Which ones are a MUST and if he doesn’t have it, he wouldn’t be worth your time? I’ve had people tell me to find someone that was rich, and my question was, “Well what about other good qualities?” My personal preferences may be different from someone else’s, but I’m not going to make my preference based on someone else’s. We are entitled to what we want for us, to what we prefer for ourselves. Having lots of money is okay, but I want someone that’s my friend, that I can hang out with, that I can sit and talk to, that will spread out on the living room floor and watch movies with me. As for money, as long as he is RESPONSIBLE and WORKS HARD, the bills will get paid. It may even be God’s will that you two become wealthy TOGETHER.

What really sparked my concern was a comment a young lady made to my husband. It made him shake his head and I couldn’t help but to wonder what our young ladies are being taught to accept. This young lady asked my husband was he gay. He replied saying no. He asked her why would she ask that, and she said, “I ask that because you always wear your pants around your waste.” Are you serious? Is this what we as women have lowered ourselves to? If a guy has his pants hanging off his behind and down to his knees, it’s a sign that he’s not gay therefore you can try to snatch him up? What? Actually it is the other way around, and men with their pants where they should be should be a sign of a GENTLEMAN. But when did the dress of a gentleman become gay, and the dress of a dude showing off his nasty draws become manly??

The best standard to have is to want a man that is SAVED and follows God’s will, not his own. God’s perfect order is already set, and all we have to do is get in alignment. God is over the man, the man over his wife, the wife over the children. In other words, God leads the way, the man follows God, the wife follows her husband, and the children follow her. Some of us women have been taught or taught ourselves to not need a man, but no matter how strongly you feel about that, NOBODY can argue or change what GOD already has in order. Whatever the problem is, a conversation with God is needed. I know, I’ve been there and you couldn’t tell me nothing either! Six years ago I would have laughed if anyone told me I would be writing posts like these!

With God leading the way, you know you are in good hands, and with a man that follows God, you know you are in good hands and have a strong covering! You have all of these being protecting YOU because you are that PRECIOUS! Some proof that a man that follows God is good can be found nowhere but in the scriptures. A man that follows God is good because men are told to provide for his household or he is worse than an unbeliever (1 Timothy 5:8 ESV). Men are to show themselves in ALL respects to be a MODEL of GOOD WORKS, and in their teaching show INTEGRITY and DIGNITY (Titus 2:7 ESV). As LADIES, getting in that WORD helps us understand our roles as women and wives, and it also helps us understand what men of God are really about and what we should really look for. When setting standards, start with that BIBLE!

Look for what personality makes you happy. Then, do they do what they are suppose to do? Do they have goals and work towards those goals? Do they include your dreams in also reaching their goals? Can both of your dreams work together to reach a common goal? Is there a PEACE about this person? And there are men that work their behinds off and women, some of us bash them because they are not making $100,000 or more a year! We say they are not men! What???! Shallow thinking! What is he working toward? I'm sure he's not trying to stay in that place in his life forever! Plus, the man is WORKING! And working hard! Let them work! Sometimes, all they need to really set them on their way is that help meet like YOU. Stop bashing these guys that are trying to make things happen and you just can't see all of that. If so, go get yourself in check first. I had to.

Additional Scriptures and my quick summaries of them:

Psalms 1 1-6 (Men of God are righteous and blessed. Their household is blessed)

Joshua 1:9 (Men of God are strong and courageous)

Ephesians 5:22-25 (the role of men and wives)

Proverbs 22:29 (Girl, you better get you a hard-working man!) smile

I made a list when I was in college of what I wanted in a man (like most of us girls). I prayed and talked to God about this list and he already had the perfect guy lined up, but I had to get myself in wife-mode according to the Word of God. If I hadn’t, we would have had some serious problems in our marriage, OR God would not have brought him to me yet because I wouldn’t have been ready. Sometimes we want things so bad and we’re not even ready for them. Our standards then get compromised because we want a man sooooo bad! But you not ready. Focus on being ready and following God’s will, not your own. And if you're thinking, "Well there's not many good men out there" then if we raise these standards, these men will comply, the real ones. But we don't expect much from them or expect unrealistic things and that's what we get.

Check out my previous post about setting standards.

With nothing but love and wanting the best from and for our ladies,

Amy M.

When People Treat US Badly, And God Tells Us To Be Nice Anyway…

I’m pretty sure most of you have dealt with situations where God was shifting the people in your life and the ones that were once close to you, it was then the season to let them go and new people came into your lives. But what about when YOU feel certain people need to be let go because of something they’ve done to hurt you or constantly not line up with your beliefs and you feel the need to distance yourself and all the while, God is continuously pushing you to reach out to this person (or people)? You can’t figure out why God wants you to be nice and hold out yet another hand when this person has been nothing but the opposite for you. Maybe there is still a lesson for you or even a seed He needs you to plant before you depart from them. We always have to look at things through God’s eyes and pay attention to His will and not be all in our feelings. It’s difficult, but it’s amazing what you see and experience and even the things you don’t get to witness that were a result of your obedience and gentleness despite the situation.

Ephesians 4:31 Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding

Romans 12:19 Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord,”

2 Timothy 2:23-26 Have nothing to do with foolish, ignorant controversies; you know that they breed quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, after being captured by him to do his will. (Wow, this one really hit home! This goes back to what I was saying, sometimes there’s more that God wants done than we can see because we are caught up in the wrong things they’ve done instead of looking at how we can lead them to Christ or just plant that seed and keep it moving. It’s not about us and how we feel about the things that happen. If we do feel bad, that’s what God’s peace is for!)

People WILL do us wrong; they are PEOPLE! And we can’t get caught up in their foolishness. We have to continue to be examples of Christ even when we want to tell people about themselves in our own way! We don’t have to get caught up in people’s messes. Sometimes, God is using our responses (not reactions) to minister to them. He’s reaching out to them through us! So, when you can’t figure out why God is pushing you to not let go just yet and to do certain NICE gestures, to continue to show love and acts of kindness, think about His will, not your will. I’m also reminded of Hosea who, even after all of her wrong doings, God told Hosea to continue to love Gomer and care for her. The same for how God continued to love Israel.

There was a time when I had a friend that did unfriendly things to me. I continued to show love and kindness even though I felt I deserved better. Not once did I do or say anything negative to that person. Years later, that person came to realize how unfriendly they really were and acknowledged it to me and apologized. By then, it didn’t matter. Their well-being was all that mattered. As I look back at that, I realize that the person could have realized their wrong-doings and not bring it to me at all. God could have allowed them to have never crossed my path again, but the seed was still planted. They still saw my example of Christ. We don’t have to be present when things catch up with these people. I believe God allowed me to see this person’s regrets and remorse to let me know that your actions do make a difference. You may see it as doing nothing, but boy is it something! We can’t always know the reasons for everything. There are times when YOU want to keep giving chances and God is saying let them go. In either situation, there’s that common denominator: IT’S GOD’S WILL. We may not understand everything, but as long as we follow what He asks of us, He will keep us covered.

Amy M.