Hello all! I talked before in God’s Lady parts 1 & 2
about the necessity of the father’s validation and the Heavenly Father’s
validation for little girls. Their confidence and knowledge in God starts from
the teaching of the father and example of the mother. As young girls grow up,
they should understand their goal is to please God, not others because it can
become very easy, especially around middle and high school, to try to please your
peers. This comes from trying to prove something: they fit in.
I also talked about who you keep as your company and how it
affects you. I ended the post on having good standards and that is what I want
to pick up on today. 1 Corinthians 6:18 (NVS) says to “flee from sexual
immorality” because it is a sin to your own body. Self-respect definitely comes
in here. When we realize that sexual immorality is a sin against our own
bodies, it helps make better decisions. Over and over again we are told “no sex
before marriage”, but no one says why! This is why!!! And we should discuss
this with our children so they will know! When young ladies get into
relationships, handling that relationship the proper way begins with the
father’s validation, the Heavenly Father’s validation, example of the mother,
setting those standards, and the company you keep. If you have that validation,
you know who you are and whose you are and no one can tell you how pretty or
great you are because you already know! If you have that righteous example from
mom, you know what being a lady looks like and others do too, and when others
see that, they know you respect yourself and that you have standards. Those
standards tell others how you want to be treated and anything less is not
acceptable. And if you have good friends, you don’t have to worry about people
being in your ear talking you into making wrong decisions, and they will
actually be there to say, “No, leave them alone” or “You know better.” When one
of these is missing, getting into bad relationships begin, and for some reason,
it’s hard to get out! Something has to give. It’s either the trying to prove
something, the trying to please someone else, or even your own confidence or
standards need to be reevaluated. Until one of these is done, it’s hard to get
out of those bad relationships. As God’s ladies, we should be striving to be
wives, not every other dude’s girlfriend, anyway. I had always been the type
that if I knew it didn’t have a chance, I didn’t even bother. I didn’t see the
point in having a boyfriend unless they were someone I could see being my
husband, a leader, and follower of God. But, because of changes of what I was
being taught and the people around me, it had an effect on me. What I’ve
learned is that we have to teach our children constantly. We can’t just teach them
and then when they turn a certain age, like 12, just stop. It needs to continue
as long as they are under your roof. When they move out, they should be
equipped with the knowledge on how to handle themselves in a Godly manner with
no compromise. Even if they do mess up, they will know how to get it back
right, “train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will
not depart from it.” Proverbs 22:6 (NVS)
Now if you are in a relationship, ladies, here is something
that I would like to bring to your attention. The bible describes specifically
what love is (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). Being in a relationship with no love is
becoming very common nowadays. The set of questions below are a great way to
help evaluate your relationship:
1. Are
you patient with each other?
2. Are
you kind to each other?
3. Are
you never envious of each other?
4. Do
you never boast to or about each other?
5. Is
your relationship characterized by humility?
6. Are
you never rude to each other?
7. Are
you not self-seeking?
8. Are
you not easily angered with each other?
9. Do
you keep no records of wrongs?
10. Are
you truthful with each other?
11. Do
you protect each other?
12. Do
you trust each other?
If
yes to ALL—Love
If
no the ANY—a discussion or decision is needed
When true love is actually present in a relationship and the
decision to get married is made, a whole new ball game comes into play.
Marriage is work, and as God’s ladies, we have to know and understand our role
in order to help make that marriage a successful one and one that pleases God. I
went through the whole independent woman phase before I got married. I knew I
was ready for marriage because I had my own everything, and I just didn’t feel
right. It didn’t feel natural that I was running EVERYthing and doing
EVERYthing. I realized that some things a man needs to. I needed my “superman”
to come take over! I started talking to God about my role as a woman and how I
was starting to understand His order. I told God I would be happy with myself
and who I was as an individual and whenever He sent my husband to me I would be
appreciative, if it were 2 weeks or 2 decades. I had to be happy with myself
and not trying to prove to everyone else I could do everything. A few months
later, God sent my husband right to me! “He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.” (Proverbs 18:22, ESV) He found me! LITERALLY!
I will have to share in another post how it all happened, but there he was, at
my doorstep!
He came and took that load I didn’t need to be carrying off
of me. But it was amazing to me how I was so into being an independent woman
before and it actually felt natural to submit to my husband! It felt natural to
do things to build on his ideas or when he couldn’t figure something out, I was
ready to help. Being a help meet to my husband is more satisfying, natural and
gives more peace than being an independent woman ever could have. In Genesis
2:18, God created man first then woman to be a helper to the man. This is why
it feels natural. As women, we are designed to be helpers to our men. Too many
women stay in that independent woman mindset and try to rule the man. There is
no peace in that, and it is not natural. Men don’t like that! By men, I’m
talking about real men. Let them function in their role and your role will
follow suit. This is where communication comes in. Knowing his goals should
already be discussed, and your goals as God’s lady should be to do what helps
your man reach his goals. A really great way for it to work out is if what you
personally like to do or hope to achieve actually lines up with his goals or
actually helps him reach those goals. The man leads, but it’s still teamwork! I
know us women always get the idea of the man being the boss of everything when
we hear about submitting. But it means
we as women let the men take on their role, let them take our hands and lead
the way while we help make the journey easier or more practical in some situations.
Basically, when we learn to follow the order that God has
set in place, it makes for happier marriages and happier ladies of God.
Remember, Proverbs 31:10 says, “An excellent wife who can find? She is far more
precious than jewels.” (ESV) This is how we are seen as women of God, women
with validation and standards, women with self-respect and confidence, women
that submit to their husbands…God’s Lady.
Continue to read Proverbs 31:11-31 for more on a woman of
God.
-Amy M.
No comments:
Post a Comment